Thursday, June 8, 2017

Epic Fight - over TP!


As a couple that has been together nearly 22 years, married over twenty years, we do not fight, not that we agree 100% on everything. We approach disagreements with civility and level heads, and discuss, like grown ups. And we do not disagree on much either.

Early on in our relationship we had, what we both still consider, our worst fight ever. The kind of fight where the anger comes from deep inside your core. And it was over toilet paper.

A few days after the fight we laughed about it. It is a story we tell often, because it is true, and it deals with what a lot of couples, any relationship really, deal with all the time. The basic approach you take to making purchasing decisions. And I am sure as you are reading this, you are nodding your head yes. Correct?

I thought it was time to document this epic fight, hurling toilet paper and all, because it was important to our relationship, it is humorous, and is worth remembering. And defines the simple stuff we often fight over and why. Sadly some couples cannot get past this issue. We did quickly, as it was a wake up call to a basic approach to basic every day essentials. We wanted to succeed as a couple.

It is hilarious now to look back at our biggest fight over something so mundane, but essential, to every day life. And yes, it bares recording it. Not all that gets recorded is the happy moments. I like to record the defining moments in life, as they really spell out who you are today. Call it cathartic journaling, call it scrapbooking, call it documenting, call it done!

Supplies: Project Life App, Perfectly Imperfect card collection. 

I posted the journaling below for you to read. Comment if you can relate. I expect a lot of comments!!!
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Epic Toilet Paper fight of Fall 1995

When Rory and I were first together, we had some settling in as a couple, as any new relationship will have to go through. Our first big fight, and probably still the biggest fight we had, and loudest, involved toilet paper. Yes, couples fight about TP. 

It really boiled down to our core differences in approach to shopping. 

It began one evening in late October, early November of 1995 at Target on Shingle Creek Parkway in Brooklyn Center, the closest Target to the house. We were off shopping for essentials. Or Sandy was shopping and Rory was along to push the cart. He hated shopping back then, with a passion. 

We needed TP, toilet paper. We were in the disposable paper aisle of kleenex, toilet paper, napkins, paper towels, etc. We had little extra money at the time because Rory had not started working at Control Data yet, and Sandy’s sole income of just over $20,000 gross, was not a lot to live on.

Rory reached for the $1.99 4 pack of toilet paper, Sandy reached for the 24 pack of Northern quilted for $4.99. And thus began the fight. 

Rory wanted the $2 pack because that was all we could afford, even though it meant paying $0.50 a roll, and wasn’t likely to last long, but that is what money we had. Sandy wanted the 24 pack at $5 because it would last longer and was only $0.21 cents a roll. A significant overall savings. 

And then the yelling started. 

We both ended up screaming at each other in the aisle, feeling very passionate about our views on what size should be purchased. We hurled packs of TP at each other. No kidding! They might have even been heaved over the aisle racks. We were both angry. We both thought we were right. It made us realize our core values on purchasing items didn’t line up. We were scared and hurt, new in this relationship. 

Even some 21 years later Rory still says he was right, thats what we could afford at the time. (smile)

It was good that all this came out early on. It did make us realize as smooth as things were between us, not all our values lined up perfectly. As time went on we worked out better purchasing communications. 

To this day, May 31, 2017, nearly 22 years together, it was still our angriest, maddest, most physical and loudest fight, and it was very public. (No one else at Target noticed, or security would have been there in an instant.) And even after the fight was over it seemed silly to be fighting over toilet paper, and we laughed about it. It is a story that has been told often over the years. 


How did the fight eventually end? We bought the 24 pack!!! 

Thank you for stopping by today!

Keep being creative, Sandy

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